The Long Drive A Lone Driver's Gourmet Guide

What, you don’t know its unhealthy to just gobble up everything you find along the road without checking its contents?

Intro

With the recent addition of food and water into the game, I thought that describing the food that you find along the road would be a wise choice, given all the dangerous elements that can be found and accidentally ingested. So follow along. This nutritional guide will contain some basic information about the food you can find on

The Long Road

Mechanics

The food pieces you find along your journey are not to be chewed down in full, as you risk choking yourself on it and becoming one of the many victims of the apocalypse…

Instead, once you press the eat button [LMB], you will dilligantly take/cut/bite a small portion of the meal of your choosing and devour it, refilling a set portion of your hunger bar and draining a bit of your water alongside it. As of now, I have no way of checking the actual numbers for food, but i’ll just go off of the stomach.

In order to see how much food or piss or anything, really, you have left, you can do one of four things:

  • Take a piss. (P)
  • Take a dump. (B)
  • Eat or drink something
  • Tick “Always show HP/Food/Water/Piss/♥♥♥♥” On

What happens if one of the bars deplets completely/fills up completely?

  • Health – If it’s full, you’re good. If it’s empty, you’re dead. Pretty simple
  • Food and Water – Once they’re both full, any food or water you consume will be converted straight into piss/♥♥♥♥. Drinking your own piss is possible, but it does not nourish you. You just regain all the pee you peed. On the other hand, if your food or water are down, you will slowly start losing health until you can regain them. It takes 3 liters of water to completely fill up your Water meter.
  • Piss and ♥♥♥♥ – Emptying them won’t do you any harm. What will probably cause you a lot of confusion is when you fill those two bars up completely. You will be unable to stuff anything into you unless you piss or dump anything you have in your intestines. And also yes, you can eat your own crap. It takes three bites to eat it completely…. It hits your HP and drains you of your Water… and also puts some of the ♥♥♥♥ back into the pile

With that said, let’s get on with the show!

What to transport the food in

If you want to transport your food around the apocalypse-ridden… somewhere on Earth, you’re going to need these things:

  • Baskets – My favorite in terms of storage capacity, this bad boy can store your food inside it and freeze it in place using some doohickey it has chipped inside of it. It can comfortably fit a dozen Sausages, around twenty Cookies, a few Croissants if you stack them appropriately, a baker’s dozen of Buns and around two or three Bacons. It’s able to be pinned into any place of the car, so you can keep your Bacons nice and hot above the engine, or your Cookies cool and crispy next to the radiator… unless you have the Trabant, then… enjoy the wet jam, I suppose…
  • The Fridge – More cumbersome than the last, it won’t be wise to just stick this thing on top of your car and drive off. While it is more cavernous, it is also more difficult to carry around. It is a perfect fit for a Truck with a camper bed (untested, might not actually fit in the door), but it is extremely heavy on its own. It can be cleaned up just as the cars can with the wire brush and some jizz. If you can take it along with you – I strongly advise you do. In other case, the Baskets are favorable.
  • The Bonnet – If you have nothing else and you desperately want to hold some food in your car, you can use the trunk of the car to keep the food in. It is not the desirable option, purely because the food can and will get strewn about the entire thing and sometimes it will fall out of the trunk during the time God’s brain shuts off.

Cookie – The sweet tooth

This meal is sure sweet, but it’s not filling at all. Consisting of only two bites, The Cookie consists of two pieces of biscuit cut into circles, with one circle full of raspberry jam on top.

Despite it looking quite delicious, it is but a snack to a journeysman – It can be chewed down in just two bites, and it restores a few bits of your hunger bar, making it the worst choice of food in the entire game.

What it lacks in functionality, though, it makes up in its design – It is by far the most detailed piece of food in the game, only lacking behind the chocolate bar. It can be stuffed anywhere.

The Bun – A basic meal

Ahh, what a smell – A freshly baked and totally not mouldy meal, this piece of food is a standard across the wasteland. It is easy to store, given its small size, but not as easy as The Cookie.

You are able to chew the bun down in three bites, which can get your food bar up to one quarter full. Much better than The Cookie, but still somewhat lackluster.

The Crossaint – Le repas des riches

This curved piece of flour mixed in with some yeast is The Crossaint – Coming from the same place as The Bun as well as (probably) The Cookie, this piece of French cuisine is as stylish as the country it came from… and just as annoying to carry around.

In four bites, you can achieve what The Bun can achieve in three and what The Cookie can achieve in its dreams. It is quite annoying to carry around in the food baskets as it likes to push other foods around like the rich usually do to the poor. It’s the last remaining piece of ancient hierarchy in the apocalypse.

The Chocolate – With the edible paper

That’s right, this wunderbar piece of East German history is The Chocolate. Created with the utmost care and German ingenuity that the Trabant is known for, it is far better at being a sweet snack on the road than The Cookie.

Its red paper is easily devourable, since its made with the same care and attention as duraplast, and the brown goodness inside is just as delicious and paper-like in its taste. This product can be easily devoured in four bites, and its nutritional value is comparable in what The Bun can do. It is a rectangle, so it is quite an easy thing to transfer around, but not as easy as The Sausage.

The Sausage – A meal for the traveller

This little bit of Hungarian spicy goodness is The Sausage, and it is quite handy to chew. So handy, in fact, that it’s capable to be eaten in jsix bites. And yes, that includes the Hungarian flag the two rolls of meat are tied up with for that ecological aftertaste.

It is one of the easiest foods to store, too. Unlike the capitalist Croissant, The Sausage is nice and small, allowing you to carry multiple of it in the bed of your truck/car, as well as easily keep it from falling off with the baskets. It is a tasty snack for the road, refilling around half of your food bar with each bite. It does present a challenge for when you need to find the last bite, as it is quite small and easy to lose.

The Bacon – The Heavyweight

You better prepare your stomach and rear for this meaty goodness. The Bacon is one of the most nutrition-filled meals in the entire apocalypse road, and if you ignore the slightly sour taste of sand and rabbit feces, it can be quite delicious. It is able to be eaten in six bites as well, and get this:

It can refill your entire hunger bar in just one bite. Or.. just barely. It depends on if you are completely empty. But for your everyday needs, this is almost more than enough. Which is why you should only carry one, max two of these on your journey. It is incredibly cumbersome and is not easy to store in your baskets.

Drinkables: The Cactus

This is not really a food item, but I felt like including it, since it has gained one unique ability.

Of course you’ve got the Desert, and as we all know, all wells have dried up since the apocalypse. And because of that, during your Long Drive, you have to get creative. And actually listening to Angry Greg and hitting the stupid things with your bus can yield you some water. Not much, just 0.1 L

(3.38 oz) for each individual piece, but each cactus can drop somewhere around 8 pieces, so that’s almost a litre of water you can shove into yourself, your bus coolant, or just spill onto your bus body to make it… wet… you can’t clean the bus with just water

Drinkables: The Water

It’s… it’s water… it takes 3 liters to fill you up completely… anymore and you piss… that’s… that’s it

Drinkables: The Alcohol

Of course, no one can forget the joy of their first car ride.. especially if you were under the influence. With The Long Drive, you need to keep your brain lubricated, and for that, you can use The Alcohol. Its only downside is that you will not feel the glorious haze…

oh and The Alcohol will also deplete your Water meter and fill up your piss meter at a rapid pace… also that…

Drinkables: The Blood

With the advent of the apocalypse, a lot of people have unfortunately died, rendering your access to blood quite tasking. But fret not, there are buckets of it found around the wasteland, as well as a sporadic gas can or an oil can filled with the stuff. Also you can sometimes find bottles of it, which… is a bit concerning.

Still, by drinking blood, you are actually directly feeding it into your heart, increasing the amount of HP that you currently have. It is clever, it is how it actually works and I am totally knowledgable of how the human body works. It’s just one tube that food, water, vomit and blood go in and refill those tanks, right?

Drinkables: Engine Fluids

All of them decrease your HP… and make you want to piss. Simple as that

The end and coming up next

Thank you for reading through the contents of The Long Road’s various food items and the various drinks you can spice up your journey with

To be added:

At the time of writing this, I have not found The Chocolate. Its picture will be added as soon as I find it in a perfect shape

Also I need to make an un-eaten screenshot of The Sausage.

The Bacon might need a redo on its test, as the version I found might not be the actual uneaten version

This guide will, of course, be updated as I find more food along my journey.

Bon Appetit, fellow travellers

This is it guys!! I am sure that you will love The Long Drive A Lone Driver’s Gourmet Guide that we have shared with you. We are always open to discussion and suggestions from you. Just let us what you thought about the guide in the comment section.

Also, we would like to thank Dozeji. He is the one behind this wonderful guide.